And then I woke up.

It’s always something you think will happen to something else. Or in a dream, because no one would be that stupid in real life. Or not at all, even in a dream, because even dream people aren’t that stupid, usually. For serious. I feel like someone who got saved drowning while they were trying to save their own reflection.

*headdesk*

I worked today, at the writing center. At 2 pm, exactly. I got there about 2:10 pm. Why?

Simple. I forgot to wear pants.

... take a minute for that to sink in. Forgot pants. As in, completely. Shirt. Boots. Leggings. No pants.

I was heading out into the parking lot, actually, when I realized, oh, my ass is completely out in the open, isn’t it?

I kind of had thought (is what I’m telling myself) that my shirt was long enough that’d it would kind of be a shirt-dress, where it would theoretically be about knee-length and thus save me from having to throw on jeans, a skirt, or something else that would make leggings unnecessary in the first place.

I’ve just started wearing leggings. I resisted them for ages, because me and my legs aren’t really the best of friends (If I could avoid it, I wouldn’t invite them to my birthday party is all I’m saying). I’d thought I was doing quite well. I picked ones that were decently opaque, I hadn’t chosen something in a stupid colour that really only matches that one shirt that never gets worn anyway, and the length was short enough that I can hike them up and pretend I’d bought an entirely new pair in a Capri-style. I’m so elite.

And then I do something like this.

To be fair, I don’t have a full length mirror and the one in the bathroom cuts me off somewhere around the midriff. So I kind of maybe didn’t notice that the shirt, which might’ve been knee-length on the sides, was artfully cut at the front and back in a perfect ass-framing curve. Nice. Also, I’d kind of somehow fooled myself into thinking I’m an adult and don’t need to check very very basic things like that.

(Phone? Check. Wallet? Check. Pants? MOTHERFUCKER.)

So, yeah. Apparently I haven’t learned to dress myself properly yet. ‘Cause, y’know, it’s not like that’d be a helpful skill to have in the real world or anything.

Also: It’s a bit breezy out today, for anyone wondering.