worst break-in ever

Y’know what I’m not a fan of?

*I'M A FIRE DRILL AND I'M GOING TO RING FOREVER*

Loud, piercing noises going off at thirty second intervals for no goddamn reason other than to make sure it’s loud enough to really blow out everyone’s eardrums.  For an hour and a half. I lost my liking for fire drills when it stopped being a legitimate excuse to miss a test, which was somewhere in middle school when things like that were a big deal. Now it’s just a reason to be herded out into the freezing outdoors at 4 in the morning when you’d bite the head off a small kitten to be back in your cozy nest of a bed. Not that I’ve had that thought...

And because I’m extra bitter and cranky now, I’m also just gonna throw it out there that if you think about it, fire drills could be a perfect excuse to work out whatever pyromaniac-urges you’ve been suppressing. I mean, the alarm’s already going off, right? Why not actually light something on fire? Everyone’s already worked up about it. It’s just convenient. Probably a bit of a kindness, too, since everyone will feel that their initial panic and rage over such a horrible shrieking sound was justified by things actually being on fire somewhere. It’s really just being considerate. And you thought I wasn’t a good person.

Of course, on no account should you mention any of this to the fire-maintenance people when they actually break into your apartment to check that your alarms are also capable of making shrieking noises. They really don’t have any sense of humour at all. They’re also very grumpy for people who are breaking into someone else’s apartment to stomp around in work boots for a bit. Honestly. If I was going to come in and wander around while someone was trying to do their homework, I’d at least be a bit more cheerful, or at least apologetic. “Sorry about completely destroying your sense of security. Nice bedsheets, by the way.” Something like that.