tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60282922885563219732024-03-05T00:15:49.175-08:00Boots and Birdcagesbecause things change, y'know?Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-42219571851281556592015-11-28T03:57:00.001-08:002015-11-28T03:57:29.862-08:00At the diner, part 1<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It's 3:30 AM and I'm sitting in a shitty little diner doing my homework, because what the hell else would I be doing at 3:30 AM on a Saturday? What was I doing the night before? Don't I care about any of this school shit? And more importantly, don't I care about being a proper adult, the kind that goes to bed at a decent time and definitely doesn't go to a diner at an unreasonable hour and buy illicit things on the dark, scary internet? Who the fuck am I?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">A website I don't trust anymore just told me I write like Cory Doctorow. Who is that? And why does he write like me? There are so many uncertain things this early in the morning. For example, how many waitresses have come and gone since I got here, and who, if any of them, remembers that I paid for coffee AND a tea, damnit. Both cups are empty. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Fortunately, my brain doesn't really care too much- it's been buzzing along happily without refills, which is I guess proof that medication works. On me, anyway. If I could get high off my own prescriptions, I'd be pretty fucked pretty soon. S'all I'm sayin'. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Earlier, I went out for a smoke and it was way too cold outside for anyone, and I had a really awkward imaginary conversation with my boyfriend and some guy I went out with for a terrifying week a long time ago. In my mind, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend, and a guy stopped, like he recognized me, and said "Hey! Meghan!" </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In my mind, we stopped walking. I looked at the person who had called me, and I struggled for a moment to place him while my bf looked at me with a curious look on his face. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> And then, oh no. No, it wasn't. Fuck. It WAS. It was HIM. THAT GUY. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I remembered that guy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Since he clearly remembered me, and since we'd all stopped walking and were now staring at each other in an awkward little triangle, I thought I'd better say something.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So I said, as cheerily as I could, "Hey!" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And then we exchanged (un)pleasantries while my brain yelled out things about drugs and bad decisions. I was perfectly enthusiastic, totally normal, and not at all as legitimately terrified as I was. Because I would be, if I ever did run into him again. It would all come back, and I'd have to look at Past-Meghan again and we really didn't get along. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This all sounds much worse than it is. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Anyway, after we'd finished up and went on our separate ways, my bf turned to me and asked "so, what the fuck?" </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And I told him, while my brain cringed inside my skull. I'd imagine my hands were probably shaking a bit at this point. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And then I was outside again, smoking in the freezing cold outside a shitty diner so early in the AM it was still dark. My everything was numb, and my cigarette was disgusting. I ground it out with my boot, and went back inside. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-64812595692928073632015-10-13T12:02:00.002-07:002015-10-13T12:02:54.827-07:00Something I wrote months ago<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: small;">Tonight I met my memory of my best friend as a child. He
called himself “Peter,” but he had the same intelligence in his eyes and I knew
it was him. We talked about dreams and travelling and things insomniacs see out
of the corners of their eyes (but don’t talk about except to other insomniacs),
and he waited for me while I peed on the beach. I almost thought he’d
disappeared back into the shadows, and I had a flicker of acceptance for
something I hadn’t put words to yet. Something personal and deeply calming. But
then he was there, and we walked back to my car while I waited for the hangover
to pass. We almost robbed a bank- he picked it out like he was casing a job.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: small;">-
and I remembered-</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: small;">In eighth grade, me and my friends camped out for opening
night at the Royal Theatre. We wore our Harry Potter scarves, and ordered pizza
to the sidewalk, and across the street, a drunk person tried to break into the
BMO in broad daylight. At least 3 police cars pulled up, and it was the only
time I’d ever seen guns being held up, like proper guns. No one got shot- the
drunk tried to hide under a truck outside the bank, and everything was taken
care of before anyone knew anything had happened. But I remember, when everyone
moved away and tried to duck behind doorways and behind vehicles (so they could
watch without been seen to have watched) I ran up to the corner, and stood
behind a tree in case any stray bullets came my way. My mom yelled at me, I
think, but I don’t remember why she would have been there, so I might have
imagined her. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: small;">“-Hold my hand!” I said hurriedly, and we walked past,
politely trying to stay out of their way. He had his hand stuck in his pocket
and I’m sure the bank officers saw through it. Peter laughed like it was the
funniest thing in the world, and I found myself hoping we never ended up
somewhere where he had to keep a straight face, or have a pretense of any sort. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: small;">I worried about Jessica when we got to my car. What if she’d
walked into something awful after I saw her turn that last corner? But then I
found something else to say, something bitchy and snarky, and I forgot I used
to be the kind of person who would’ve walked her home even if I hated her,
which I still don’t. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: small;">I drove Christopher Rabbit home, and I made him show me
where he *really* lived. He was quiet for a second, and then he said he felt
guilty for having 3 vehicles in the driveway while kids were starving in
Ethiopia. It didn’t sound cheesy or stupid, though. He just said it. It was
just something you might say if you were drunk and confused and yet certain of
your own shit being total shit at 4:30 AM and therefore important. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: small;">We hugged, and he kissed my neck. It was sort of a peck-
he’d told me he sees demons, and I asked him what they looked like, so we were
sort of friends now, anyway- and less intimate than a proper kiss. He might’ve
been leaning in for a proper kiss, but I’m good at awkward moments. He’d also
told me he was gay, or at least on the spectrum of- like that really means
anything. But he’d said it, and I was holding him to it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: small;">I have the name he called himself and a pre-approved friend
request on Facebook. I have a dead phone, and the hope that I’m a better person
than Julie was. I also have a boyfriend, who’ll wonder what sorts of things
I’ve been up to when I tell him he wouldn’t believe the night I’ve had, and
who’ll fear the worst no matter how honest I am. Besides, he knows me a little,
so he’ll probably believe me. I wish things like that happened when he was
around. He always thinks I’m exaggerating when I tell him where I was. </span></div>
Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-18778187975663205422014-11-11T04:32:00.000-08:002014-11-11T04:32:06.823-08:004:20 AM, and I'm only writing this to myself, I swear. <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Hooray! I found my blog, and it let me back in. Blah blah I'm so awful at blogging blah me me me. I'm not sorry. I'm a terrible writer, in most senses of the word. </span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But- </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I have things to say that are worth the exercise of writing them down, and I swear none of them are very important. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm going to re-do this blog thing. I used to be terrified to post anything online that wasn't significant and meaningful and hilariously witty. Let's pretend I ran out of all that shit to say, and now I'm going to talk about boring things in a boring way and maybe bitch about things in my life that suck, and probably give myself verbal high-fives when something I do goes mostly like I meant it to. I'm not going to try and write a certain number of posts per week, because I already hold myself to pretty high standards and I don't need any more personal disappointment. I might post pictures, if they're of me and if they look like someone hot from the internet. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm a vain motherfucker. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm also sort of a different person than the one who blogged here before. You'll see.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You, blog. Because even though I'd like to think the entire internet will read this and see how very deep I've become and will want to be my very best friend, it's probably better they don't. For one thing, I'm terrible at keeping friends. My ex-friends know this. There are an awful lot of them. Because I'm a good person. </span>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-14658362321374266022014-03-22T16:01:00.002-07:002014-03-22T16:01:34.427-07:00Hair? But... hair. Yes. <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Wigs are fucking awesome. </span>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-19124693601230560092014-01-21T02:43:00.000-08:002014-01-21T02:46:59.537-08:00That moment when...<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I've added two resolutions for this year. I can't remember what brought them on-</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> various substances bring various mind states, and various degrees of self-realization- b</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">ut just after I realized how much clarity a well-timed cigarette can bring, I had some pretty clear thoughts. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<b><i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">1. Find someone whom I can relate to, at my worst. I need to know who my people are, n</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">o matter how embarrassing, shameful, or downright terrifying they might be. </span></i></b><br />
<i><b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>2. Buy a goddamned fucking watch. And never take it off. </b></span></i>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-21824986483112575512013-12-08T02:26:00.004-08:002013-12-08T02:27:14.602-08:00Not that I'm begging or anything...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm writing this on my boyfriend's laptop while he's sleeping. Originally I was going to look up a music video to show him, but since I have no idea who the artist is or what the video is called, or anything else that would help me find it, I ended up googling things like "singer in forest with a drum and she ends up in a mirror tent-raft in the middle of al lake somewhere+sounds like Feist," until I bored him unconscious.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Also, if anyone knows what that song is called, I will write a 1000 word essay on why you win at life, and I will send it to the editorial section of whichever newspaper is your favorite. Or I'll put it up on the internet somewhere, and that shit's eternal. In 500 years, people will still know how awesome you are. I am totally serious, because I fucking LOVE that music video.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">AND sleep.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-25539149473421285112013-12-06T14:54:00.001-08:002013-12-06T14:56:23.499-08:00Huzzah for self-confidence!<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="line-height: 115%;">*I wrote this when I was in Nottingham, and incredibly homesick. I was in a very antisocial and destructive period in my life, and I was so afraid of my friends finding out how very badly I was handling everything that I stopped talking to them completely. </span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="line-height: 115%;">Anyway, after some intense self-pity, and the realization that no one really knew anything about me at all, I decided to write down a few things I knew were true about myself. </span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><i>I think I might have submitted this to a student zine, and I think it might have gotten published- I can't remember, but I miss the girl who put out that zine. The zine was called </i>Artemis,<i> and I think her name was Cathleen. I do remember she had blue hair, and was an amazing musician/singer. I definitely had a bit of a girl-crush, but she intimidated the hell out of me because she was so damn</i><b style="font-style: italic;"> cool. </b><i>An English singer/songwriter who dyed her hair blue and published her own student magazine? Who the hell was I?</i></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="line-height: 115%;">I'm not gay, bisexual, or even bi-curious (I am, however, open to suggestions after the proper amount of alcohol), but I'd like to think I've gained enough self-confidence that if I met her again, I'd buy her a drink or two just for being fucking awesome.</span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><i>And if she happens to read this, Cathleen, you probably have no idea who I am, but you're still one of my role models, and I wish I'd asked you more about </i>Artemis <i>and your music. I hope you've had a fucking awesome life so far, and that it just keeps getting better ;)*</i></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>***</i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">The Things We Lie About</span><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="line-height: 115%;">***<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">I’m not antisocial. People frighten
me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">No, I don’t know what I want to be
when I grow up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">I’m
terrified of money. I haven’t checked my bank statements for 5 months.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">I wish I could start over again with
my mum.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">****<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">I finally learned how to stand up for
myself two weeks ago. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">If I had more confidence, I think I
could make a really good Goth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">I think skinny jeans are the worst
thing to happen to women since Hugh Hefner.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">I feel incredibly shallow sometimes,
and I can’t help it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">Yes, I am afraid of dying alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">***<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">I envy people in relationships.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">I’m afraid of commitment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">I think the only way changing room
mirrors could be more depressing is if someone had written a list of your
personal failures, your weight, and your student debt down the side before you
stepped in front of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">I’m afraid of being the least
successful person at my high school reunion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">I hate it when people ask me if I’m
okay, because I know they don’t want to hear </span><span style="line-height: 14px;">I've</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> just finished crying over
something stupid, or that I really miss my parents.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">I miss my parents.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-76662342105876188872013-08-16T05:41:00.000-07:002013-08-16T05:41:30.532-07:00I'd rather cut it off entirely, to be honest. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA8xqOrprBp1RiIE_FmOlZqJiJGGqpk6U2jKFOTwET9PFqW_-7BSvdStUTRdQhyphenhyphen2dOVEpwqF3Q5cFpnFbHsEtB3KaQ2z0ZFyMYzXSfhcktm9nolfdc59MgItmMBKEATi8m8hhEq1709cs/s1600/DSCN0317.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA8xqOrprBp1RiIE_FmOlZqJiJGGqpk6U2jKFOTwET9PFqW_-7BSvdStUTRdQhyphenhyphen2dOVEpwqF3Q5cFpnFbHsEtB3KaQ2z0ZFyMYzXSfhcktm9nolfdc59MgItmMBKEATi8m8hhEq1709cs/s400/DSCN0317.JPG" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">AND I'M BACK. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">(insert clever comment here)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; text-align: center;">In other news, I mangled up my arm pretty good. And then again a few more times. And now I think my bones are infected. The orthopedic people at the hospital agree with me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">God, narcotic drugs are fantastic. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Oh yeah, fuck you, Karma. You goddamned axe-wound. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I sometimes wonder how many orphans I'd have to save to not come back as a fucking Banana slug in my next life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-18500685158563787922012-10-09T01:57:00.003-07:002012-10-09T01:58:05.666-07:00I wish I could show this to the entire world<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/nYp-0sWz-vY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-38332651603536336202012-09-26T11:23:00.003-07:002012-09-26T11:23:46.969-07:00Well, they *have.*<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- unknown</span><br />
<br />Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-33529004185205011192012-08-01T00:27:00.001-07:002012-08-01T00:27:42.596-07:00As long as I'm dreaming, I'd like a new bike.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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“I don’t fail. I re-define success.”</div>
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.</div>
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I'm going to pretend I was the first person who said that. I'm brilliant, I know. I'm also going to pretend I have a hat that magically fills up with $100 bills whenever I decide I need more $100 bills. I'll be a multi-katrillionaire, and that'll be a real thing because I'm that damn awesome. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I'll also be half a foot taller. </div>
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<br /></div>
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...</div>
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<br /></div>
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Starlight, starbright, first star I see tonight...</div>
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<br /></div>
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Sonofabitch. Since when am I honest with myself?</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-84200867284090617722012-04-09T00:06:00.000-07:002012-04-09T00:06:08.209-07:00My pajamas are telling you to fuck off.<div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-CA</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</style> <![endif]--> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>PHOENIX</b><br />
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You are the phoenix! A phoenix is a giant, magnificent bird plumed and wreathed in flame. The phoenix is a symbol of healing and of peace. The phoenix is calm and serene in all things. The phoenix also symbolizes rebirth as this creature is reborn from the ashes of its death during which it erupts into flame and disintegrates. The phoenix can also be a symbol for faith and for hope.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US">***</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">At some point I took an online quiz and was told I’m “THE PHOENIX.” That sounds terribly optimistic. Right now I’d love to believe I can “rise from the ashes,” particularly because I’m so spectacularly talented at burning shit down. I think I can still salvage most of the important things, but I’ve been neglecting so many things it’s a wonder there’s anything to salvage. Seriously, why do people still talk to me? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I’m sitting inside a 24-hour Denny’s right now. I’m drinking chamomile tea and pretending I don’t have to go to the bathroom. I’m also not wearing under-things, because Julie kicked me out of bed and told me it’s okay to go to Denny’s completely horrible-looking because <i>it’s fucking Denny’s, and everyone there is a tiny bit less dignified and clean just for being there at midnight. </i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Besides, there is something wonderful about not giving a shit <i>at all. </i>It’s like you’re giving everyone near you the middle finger. How can you not feel better doing that?</span></div>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-28968696261192688252012-04-02T15:53:00.000-07:002012-04-02T15:53:02.527-07:00P.P.S. Let's make out.<div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Dear BootsandBirdcages:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Am terribly sorry I haven’t posted in ages. Life, you know. It likes to kick people in their most important bits. To be honest, I’ve been a bit disillusioned with the idea of posting again on a blog I’ve abandoned for so long. It's as if I've become one of those parents who pretend they have no child until one morning they find Jesus in a piece of toast and realize that they can’t fill the baby-shaped emptiness in their soul with cocaine and cigarettes.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">That's why criminals don't return to the scenes of their crimes. <i>It smells like shame and poor decisions. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Also, they might accidentally step on one of the pointy, broken-off pieces of their soul<i> </i>they've left behind. And really- who leaves bits of fucking <i>soul </i>just LYING around, waiting to be stepped on?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Inconsiderate bastards, that's who. That shit hurts worse than Lego. Asshole.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Definition of shame: Imagine successfully ninja-ing out before dawn after a one-night-stand, making it home, <i>sneaking back into your bedroom without even waking your parents up, </i>finally drifting off into that special,extra-restful type of sleep only people with no morals or sense of responsibility can really achieve...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">.... and then realizing you don't have your wallet. Or your ID. Because they're still under some fucking car seat. In a town about an hour away that you have no reason to go back to. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">... And you're going to have to explain this somehow to your parents, because you don't have your own car yet because you're still a damned teenage idiot...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">... It happened to a friend of mine.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">... </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So I guess what I’m saying is sorry? For, y’know, abandoning you for months.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb5k2IGF5Rm7GFXYhUXH0PRqCTcFc0ePY7dpDadTIilzIfF8ZK3VDlFaE1SZyrod0yJpH3CxSIQvW_iKXP37kgtdptTN5e1MylmyXuhtPrXZUNjOLiClsZzVnimCpA3orUEjSmSFUO5nU/s1600/roses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb5k2IGF5Rm7GFXYhUXH0PRqCTcFc0ePY7dpDadTIilzIfF8ZK3VDlFaE1SZyrod0yJpH3CxSIQvW_iKXP37kgtdptTN5e1MylmyXuhtPrXZUNjOLiClsZzVnimCpA3orUEjSmSFUO5nU/s320/roses.jpg" width="266" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Roses mean I love you more than paying rent</span></td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Here, I got you flowers. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">...</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">PS. Ur hot :) </span></div>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-78030908943534509452012-01-06T16:33:00.000-08:002012-01-06T16:33:07.882-08:00Maybe in my next dream, I'll be in rehab.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv_w4xdvQcRUYiYETW9lFXFvCTbTL7vn5NVOOvdggg7Dk1mZNSBcleiC97B_je_VH8OZJO8YpQAnnR9Q8fS2wm0yG-ZXpAfoKZgaUUd9zfP_tWvID98Ixd0UwtOgL3K8K-ocaZ2EthOSA/s1600/m32017_MrMackey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv_w4xdvQcRUYiYETW9lFXFvCTbTL7vn5NVOOvdggg7Dk1mZNSBcleiC97B_je_VH8OZJO8YpQAnnR9Q8fS2wm0yG-ZXpAfoKZgaUUd9zfP_tWvID98Ixd0UwtOgL3K8K-ocaZ2EthOSA/s320/m32017_MrMackey.jpg" width="231" /></a><span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">My day went splendidly today. I woke up from a weirdly-realistic dream in which I was about to get my ass handed to me in little, bite-sized pieces by a bunch of angry mobsters because I was too stupid not to wander into their crime scene. To be fair, I’d had an exceptionally shitty dream-day- my brother somehow crippled one of my friends at the bottom of a ski hill and blamed me, and then no one let me drink the beer I bought to fill up the gaping despair-hole I developed as a healthy coping mechanism. Of course, the only rational response to THAT was to become a raging drug-fiend and steal wads of money from a bunch of unfortunately well-connected crack-addicts. And then wander back into “their turf” because I was tired and had forgotten my favourite shirt (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">worst day ever) </i>at home which I clearly saw had been broken into and WENT IN ANYWAY because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">what’s the worst that could happen? </i></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Then I woke up on someone else’s couch. I think I spent ten full minutes glorying in the fact that I hadn’t been hacked apart by drug dealers. It’s an exhilarating feeling, not being hacked apart by drug dealers. Makes you feel alive.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Thing is, I'm one of those <s>nutbars </s>people who believe in things my dad might refer to as “New-Agey voodoo crap.” I even keep a dream diary YEAH. I’M ONE OF <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">THOSE PEOPLE. </i>I’m usually very present and involved in my dreams, which mean I tend to remember them vividly. So strangely complicated dreams unnerve me- little details somehow seem extra-important, and I end up feeling like there’s something I’m missing out on, like a warning or a useful bit of insight. Still, I haven’t really put a lot of effort or thought into dream analysis- I mainly keep the dream diary because of how useful it is for creative writing- so I’m taking the “ignorance is bliss” approach to this. That seems the smartest thing to do, right?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In other news, I started running again. Not very far or fast, and probably with the worst technique since that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Friends </i>episode where Rachael tries to take Phoebe running with her, but I’m giving myself a unicorn sticker and a bunch of sparkly eye shadow for effort.</span></span></div>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-82935566249688076752011-12-12T01:41:00.000-08:002011-12-12T01:41:43.645-08:00Study sessions are no place for Miley Cyrus.<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Why the fuck am I listening to such terrible music? The *hell* is wrong with me? I’m pretty sure I’m not on <s>any</s> illegal drugs right now. There is no excuse for Miley Cyrus at 1:30 AM unless there is some heavy drinking going down. I AM AT DENNYS DOING HOMEWORK AND LISTENING TO HORRIBLE FUCKING MUSIC AT 1:30 AM. SWEET. LOOK HOW ROCKIN’ I AM, EVERYONE. </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">...</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Eh. Bit of an angry re-entry into blogging regularity, but I’ll make up for it in a day or so. I’ll blog about fairies or something like that. Glass-half-full types of things. Right now, I feel like someone pooped in my head. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Is a shitty feeling. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">.... ha.</span></div>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-31455189910460712392011-10-13T19:50:00.000-07:002011-10-13T19:50:30.931-07:00BACK FROM THE DEAD. I work at a fruit stand now. Go me.<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I know. I wanted to blog at least a few times a week, but apparently I suck at regularity. My “time of the month” is whenever God wants to fuck up my workout schedule. Just for funsies I cramped up for an extra week this month. It was awesome. Those “Turbofire” workouts are so much better when you can’t lift your legs without spraining your ovaries. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; tab-stops: 167.45pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Anyhoo.</span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Am cold. I work at a fruit stand. It’s not completely outside, but it’s missing a wall and has a massive walk-in cooler that takes up a full quarter of the store. Awesome in the summer. Kind of like living next door to Antarctica in the Fall. I’m pretty happy there is basically no fruit left besides apples, pears, squashy tomatoes and pumpkins- there’s nothing left in the cooler to go hunt for. I’m starting to enjoy that crushed look people get when I get to tell them their entire day is ruined because “I’m sorry, we don’t have any plums left.” THEY’VE TURNED LEFT FOR NOTHING! THIS FRUIT STAND IS A LIE! </span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Oh, by the way. We don’t have any plums left because I ate them all. You can have an apple, though. Mmmm. Hollow substitutes are delicious.</span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">...</span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">P.S. Also, I think I have pink-eye. Or eye cancer. Jesus Christ, this is a fun day. I’M DYING OF SOMETHING STUPID. </span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Nobody laugh at me. </span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-80681528741503488732011-03-26T19:17:00.000-07:002011-03-26T19:18:16.748-07:00Meh. Not like I really needed mine anyway.<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtlc40khRSX3Z65WkQBbChf573jvVOmFLzlEe247doKljVcBM5WYMniPhZzTYPAvdeBU8UC4PXlhMRweqKD1kIb1x3wPgblvDPa9TVhsSW7phpoVauL2QTSKsyqqcVV1mkhQXNhhbYUNU/s1600/tumblr_l9bbfjgn281qcv61fo1_500_thumb.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="333" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtlc40khRSX3Z65WkQBbChf573jvVOmFLzlEe247doKljVcBM5WYMniPhZzTYPAvdeBU8UC4PXlhMRweqKD1kIb1x3wPgblvDPa9TVhsSW7phpoVauL2QTSKsyqqcVV1mkhQXNhhbYUNU/s400/tumblr_l9bbfjgn281qcv61fo1_500_thumb.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">YEE-HAW!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">BREAKING NEWS: BRAS CAUSE BREAST CANCER! </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">New studies! Scientists! Toxins! There is research backing this! </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">`</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">"three out of four women who wore their daytime bras to sleep contracted breast cancer"</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">- STATISTICS</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Saggy tits? Blame your parents!</span><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">- New Jersey College of Medicine (a REAL place!)</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="http://www.chetday.com/breastcancerandbras.htm"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">http://www.chetday.com/breastcancerandbras.htm</span></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">*THE MORE YOU KNOW*</span></div>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-51621748841875695602011-03-08T19:33:00.000-08:002011-03-08T19:33:45.681-08:00Just because I CAN, doesn't mean I WANNA<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I need to shut the hell up. For some reason it really bothers me when I'm the most outspoken one in the room- I feel like I'm talking too much. It's like that idea that there's always someone in each class who just keeps going on and on and won't let the class progress because the world will cease to exist if they don't get every little thought out of their heads. I feel like I border on being that person, even though I try only to contribute to what's actually being said, and I try to make sure there's absolutely no one else who wants to say anything before I raise my hand at all. I'm not that bad of a public speaker- I don't get twitchy or sweaty, and I've never been prone to fainting or even getting a bit light-headed. Being in front of a group of people makes me uncomfortable, but I'm usually okay about it- I've always kind of thought being in grade 10 drama class was the height of any public embarrassment I'll ever experience, so why get upset about sharing an actual opinion or reading off a piece of paper at the front of a room? It can't be any worse than improv-ing something so awkwardly even the teacher feels bad for making you go on stage. I honestly think people who do stand-up are some of the bravest people in existence. I've got a friend who started doing it recently, and he's brilliant at it- I'd love to have that kind of stage presence. Somehow I always end up feeling <i>bad</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> for saying anything. Although I've heard that might be why comedians are so good at their jobs- because they already know how much everything sucks, and they give up on silly things like feeling bad about it. That's a frigging awesome way to look at everything. But I still hate saying things in class. I'm too suspicious of everyone in the room to trust they're not willing me to shut up silently, and I'm too insecure to not care about it at all. Apparently my head is still in grade 5.</span></span></span></div>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-19492551095682792832011-03-08T00:55:00.000-08:002011-03-08T00:55:14.816-08:00... like pregnancy, but without that awful baby-part.<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3S94IXT5PtgHcfFOt5PNoAvwLJqL5jsmjGwF2u-BWpQEhwIeHccFyidNqVRxn1XriY_TsWFZAkGa6C8R3yvj1wz28smv_31-xcPI4Nl1cKlwn73_D0reVlZabqxdeYR5tMKLTF-GomC0/s1600/rabbit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" q6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3S94IXT5PtgHcfFOt5PNoAvwLJqL5jsmjGwF2u-BWpQEhwIeHccFyidNqVRxn1XriY_TsWFZAkGa6C8R3yvj1wz28smv_31-xcPI4Nl1cKlwn73_D0reVlZabqxdeYR5tMKLTF-GomC0/s320/rabbit.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">WHAT?!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It should not be possible for someone to eat an entire 2 lb bag of baby carrots in half an hour. Seriously, who the hell gets "carrot cravings?" </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">... and am now feeling a bit like a bloated rabbit. Because of fucking CARROTS. THE HELL?</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is why I don't keep peanut butter around. Or soy cheese. </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-36565497495690213032011-02-25T17:41:00.000-08:002011-02-25T17:42:19.388-08:00High-five for honesty<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZr-lybXI70rr_JcAGr7QGVOvvhe-vHTeu4kXd_uNF2dN-g9jjirVqIoBZ6dcISx4sjNoJbzJYk0781yxFbQOD5gMM_3pqhfxowtBG9fXFhEo58ant22tqSsbtDXWSbIiZb9HISYB7-2k/s1600/hole.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZr-lybXI70rr_JcAGr7QGVOvvhe-vHTeu4kXd_uNF2dN-g9jjirVqIoBZ6dcISx4sjNoJbzJYk0781yxFbQOD5gMM_3pqhfxowtBG9fXFhEo58ant22tqSsbtDXWSbIiZb9HISYB7-2k/s1600/hole.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZr-lybXI70rr_JcAGr7QGVOvvhe-vHTeu4kXd_uNF2dN-g9jjirVqIoBZ6dcISx4sjNoJbzJYk0781yxFbQOD5gMM_3pqhfxowtBG9fXFhEo58ant22tqSsbtDXWSbIiZb9HISYB7-2k/s400/hole.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-18760155793649875782011-02-23T22:45:00.000-08:002011-02-24T01:10:51.285-08:00.... "Smells like an expensive hooker!"<a href="http://inmusic.ca/news_and_features/gagas_blood_in_her_new_perfume/9c18cd2f"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">http://inmusic.ca/news_and_features/gagas_blood_in_her_new_perfume/9c18cd2f</span></a><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">... dear baby Jesus. Please, just stop. There are few things I want on my skin less than Lady Gaga in liquid form. Actually, I can't even think of anything right now. Maybe acid. Or napalm. I'm half-hoping this is one of those celebrity "Oh, haha, aren't I funny and witty. Look at the wacky things I say!" moments. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I should come up with my own perfume. (All the cool kids are doing it)... I'll call it "Innocence," because each bottle will be made with the tears of a hundred virgins. It will also cure cancer. </span>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-61169222344540979362011-02-21T03:09:00.000-08:002011-02-21T03:12:37.129-08:00I can't blame vodka, so this is Lewis Carroll's fault.<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">UPDATES ON THE STUPID:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I`ve got a paper to finish, other papers I’ve yet to start, an inbox full of angriness I’ve been avoiding, two midterms I’ve forgotten the dates of (but am probably already fucked for), a horrible niggling feeling that I’m forgetting a whole bunch of other things all equally important and scary, and all I can get my sleepy little head to wrap around is whether or not Value Village has any brown hats. Oh, and the massive crush I’ve apparently developed on Andrew Lee Potts in the last three days.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">BROWN HATS. </span></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg1iBD2itFAdvcwYfRodkVjwkT4kWJszmkx9rP3djfMNnMVU-wQFMc0ZUJmjq5onDJqkgbrIBlkIA5C58SbdBg9QEavwYWGzeNCKIqOH6MoSCqoifCseQ5nttoREBmaaxdFtURwltyYUA/s1600/PG_-_Semireche_Cossack.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="294" j6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg1iBD2itFAdvcwYfRodkVjwkT4kWJszmkx9rP3djfMNnMVU-wQFMc0ZUJmjq5onDJqkgbrIBlkIA5C58SbdBg9QEavwYWGzeNCKIqOH6MoSCqoifCseQ5nttoREBmaaxdFtURwltyYUA/s320/PG_-_Semireche_Cossack.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In Soviet Russia, Lewis Carroll blames YOU</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I think maybe I need to replace “ridiculous” with “stupid.” And maybe add a smack in the face, because-really- who the Christ purposely forgets about a midterm because their brain works like a retarded squirrel and it’s easier to pretend I’m researching fairy tales when all I’m really doing is re-reading “Alice in Wonderland” and looking up costume props on Ebay than it is to click on a few things and figure out when I have a test scheduled for. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">BECAUSE I’M RIDICULOUS, THAT’S WHY.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I’ve also been worrying a bit about the amount of <s>crazy</s> laziness that goes on in my head lately. I think if my brain were a person, it either took way too many drugs and lives in Super Mario World, or got a concussion and speaks in Russian 40% of the time, or developed its own special kind of ADD because it got bored reading about dead British people and heard twitchiness gets better drugs. It’s a special kind of ridiculous. I’d patent it, but it’s completely useless for anything besides wasting time and worrying medical professionals. And it’s COMPLETELY DESTROYING MY GOOD INTENTIONS. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">LIKE VODKA. VODKA ALSO DESTROYS GOOD INTENTIONS. VODKA AND LEWIS CARROLL. </span></div>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-49019949990231144202011-02-18T03:36:00.000-08:002011-02-18T03:42:04.422-08:00Melatonin, my ass. And your valerian can go straight to hell.<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It is 3:40 am, and I am still. Frigging. Awake. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Again. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">You know how sometimes you hear about people who have such bad insomnia or who's sleep schedules are so messy that they apparently survive on energy drinks, coffee, the combined energy of everyone on the internet, and a tiny shred of hope of one day (night) getting more than two or three hours of sleep <em>all at once? </em>They're in the same category as people who've crippled both legs and an arm, or accidentally burned their house down, or just had a really stupid car accident because they forgot they couldn't drive properly... you hear about them and feel better about whatever ass-tastic situation you were complaining about, because <em>at least you're not THAT bad. </em></span><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjR7vfVHL0Krx_mLQDob_tolMouImS4hEoTIhgdexk_Yccy_bD2weQyCPet3m_5Jc23VrpeImBq0ofqKt46a3mfSxQMImbs7OxLQzeEkE1YAoJ-IPoJEdF_PWaVzbA6TSqh2E3iKSWHsI/s1600/Sleep.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" j6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjR7vfVHL0Krx_mLQDob_tolMouImS4hEoTIhgdexk_Yccy_bD2weQyCPet3m_5Jc23VrpeImBq0ofqKt46a3mfSxQMImbs7OxLQzeEkE1YAoJ-IPoJEdF_PWaVzbA6TSqh2E3iKSWHsI/s320/Sleep.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah, well you're morbidly obese, so there. Nyeah. </td></tr>
</tbody></table> <div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Well, fuck all those people. I'm one of them, so I can say that. </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I also may or may not have had that car-situation happen to me recently. Which may have been somewhat related to the sleeping situation, now that I think of it. </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">So that's my realization for the night/morning. I am a huge fucking insomniac, and it is now a fairly serious issue being that on average I fall asleep between 5 and 6 am, wake up at about 9, and usually twitch awake in between there a few times just in case I was in any danger of getting proper rest. *headdesk*</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I think I deserve a block of chocolate for this shit. Last meal, my ass. </span>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-23583387974811056812011-02-11T13:45:00.000-08:002011-02-11T13:45:09.200-08:00they're people too, apparently<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">One of the people in my English class just called my prof out on hanging out in seedy whore-bars/strip clubs. He admitted it. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Awesome. </span>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6028292288556321973.post-37367712365260464812011-02-06T15:53:00.000-08:002011-02-06T15:53:53.610-08:00I bet somewhere up the gene pool, one of my relatives was a sloth.<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The day is piss. TOO MANY THINGS. WHY'S SO MANY THINGS? *cries*</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I feel a bit distressed about this. I have a to-do list so long it looks like one of the essays I'm supposed to be writing. I've taken procrastinating to a whole new level of professionalism. There's a book there somewhere- "How to Avoid Things Forever" or "The Art of Zen-Lazy," or something like that. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Okay, so since I've basically destroyed all hope of getting things done in a timely manner, I'm accepting that they never will get done in a timely manner, and therefore I need to lower my standards and get them done in a pathetically UN-timely manner. I'm giving myself until 3 am, which seems untimely enough since that's normally when I'd either be asleep, cursing my inability to sleep, or giving up on sleep entirely and making hot cocoa and watching movies instead. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Here's my list. I'm calling it my SHITLIST, because it is a list of shit I need to do (or else my head will explode everywhere, and I'll probably cry because that's one more thing I need to clean up besides the entire fucking kitchen. Oh yeah, I need to clean the entire fucking kitchen).</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">1. Clean the fucking kitchen. All of it- microwave, countertops, floor, sink, etc. Make it sparkle, bitch. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">2. Finish the vocab list for anthropology, and have a look at the essay questions. Print out a few copies for other group members.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">3. Burn three movies and two computer games to discs.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">4. Write draft copy for film image analysis assignment.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">5. Call ICBC (can't dodge them forever...)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">6. Read over Kid Lit. essay and figure out thesis, stories to use, etc. Make outline.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">7. Muffins. Om nom. </span>Morgan Rackhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062198113637770890noreply@blogger.com0